# When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for
Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has
allowed to live.

# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck
Norris.

# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

# Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.

# Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

# Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

# There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

# When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing
the Earth down.

# Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in
the back of the head.

# Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

# There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he
turned the sun up.

# Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

# Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

# Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

# Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

# Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a
DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a
Chucktatorship.

Also check out ChuckNorrisFacts.com for more facts with their Random Facts
generator: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/randomquote/quote.php